Fish?
by Glitterrock
Summary: One day Kabuto gets lonely and decided to get a friend. Warning: language and stupidity.


Fish?

Ochimaru was to busy to pay much attention to Kabuto. This made him very sad, mostly because it didn't matter ware he went or who he was with; most of the time he was ignored. No matter who you are being ignored by everyone around you will lower you self esteem until there is nothing but a puddle of goo left.

This is why Kabuto decided to find a friend. First he went to a playground, because that is ware Ochimaru made most of his "friends." However he didn't find anything of interest, and in fact going there probably gave him another metal complex to think about.

Then he went to Ramen shop because he remembered that people usually hung out around there. This was a very bad move on his part, he wasn't attacked or anything. Like all the other places he had been in, in his life he was just ignored. Except for when the owner yelled at him to buy something or leave.

As he walked dishearten down the road he saw a pet store. Deciding to just look around for a bit for the hell of it. Walking down an isle he saw a little mouse looking at him through the glass. He stopped and smiled at him, it was a very cute mouse; he squeaked and seemed to smile.

Then a snake came from out behind a rock and started to suffocate the mouse. Kabuto watched in shocked horror as the little mouse let out shrieks of pain. He felt sick. As he turned to leave he noticed that there was a little girl watching the mouse like he was. He was afraid that the girl might cry for the mouse and was worried because he didn't want to be near a crying child; but the child didn't cry. Instead, she stepped up onto a stool so she could see into the cage; as she did this she dropped another mouse in.

"It's the circle of life little mouse, you ate the earth and when the snaky is done eating you, you will become the Earth," she stopped to watch the snake attack the mouse, "ah that one just gave up, I really do wish he had struggled a bit more."

Kabuto didn't know if she kept talking or not, because he was practically running away from the little demon, _'who the fuck did Ochimaru knock up to make that little monstrosity!' _Kabuto though as he when down another isle. It turned out to be the bird isle. He saw a pretty golden bird in a cage away from the others; it was singing its own little tune and seemed to be very happy.

Then something yanked it out of its song and over to the corner of the cage. This startled Kabuto and then he saw that a chameleon had grabbed the bird with his tongue and was now eating it alive, as it fluttered a squawked as it was eaten alive. _'this place is more disturbing than living with Ochimaru, and that is saying something.'_

Kabuto slowly walked down a different isle, and then he saw it, a little gold fish. He instantly loved it and also wanted to save it before it was eaten by something. So it was that he bought the little fish. He carried it back to the hideout ware he set up a nice little home for the fish, complete with glass beads and little fake castle.

"Little fish, little fish, what shall I call you little fish, how about Mish, yes little fish you name is now little Mish," Kabuto sang this while holding up the bowl the fish was in. Little did he know that Ochimaru and Sasuke were in the door way watching him do his fish dance. They shook there heads and walked away.

"I always thought he was a bit nuts but who the hell names a fish Mish!" said Ochimaru to Sasuke when he knew that Kabuto couldn't hear him.

"You think that him naming the fish Mish was the only thing wrong with that?!" Sasuke said a little alarmed.

"Your right."

". . ."

"His song wasn't very original either." Sasuke just sighed as a response.

Back in the room with Kabuto and Little Mish, he was watching the fish swim back and for, back and forth, back and forth. He watched the fish for a very long time.

**5 week later**

"Kabuto I need to talk to you," said Ochimaru.

"Can Little Mish come?" asked Kabuto holding the fish bowl up.

"No." "BUT Little Mish gets mad a me when I don't tell him everything, If I don't bring him he mopes; have you ever tried to talk to a mopie person before?! It is horrible, and I don't want to go through that! AND. . ."

"OK BRING THE FUCKING FISH!"

"Goodie we get to go someplace neato!"

"I didn't say anything about leavi. ."

"Maybe we will get ice cream and I can buy a balloon!"

"Kabuto, we have a problem!" Ochimaru practically yelled to get Kabuto's attention.

"Problem?"

"Yes." "With what?" "The fish." "What fish?"

". . . .uh the fish your holding."

Kabuto looked down at Little Mish, "are you talking about Little Mish?"

". . . . . ," he just stared at him for a bit before he answer slowly, "yes"

"Little Mish isn't a fish!" Kabuto yelled in a offended tone.

"He isn't?. . . . .uh what is he?"

"The Holy One, he has come to save me from this evil land, He may look like a fish but he isn't. He is the Holy one come to earth to speak wisdom and truth to all. You should join us, join the happiness." he seemed to go to his own little world when he said this and he slowly walked away.

Ochimaru watched him walk away, then he went to find Sasuke.

"Ok you were right he is a little bit worst then I though."

"You think! Did he talk to it again a week ago he was saying that it talks to him at night."

"Actually he was asking if I wanted to join his weird fish worship."

". . . . . there is something very wrong with that." that was the only thing that Sasuke could say, until he was finally able to ask. "So what are we going to do about it?"

"We need to kill the fish."

That night they snuck into Kabuto's room to dispose of the evil fish so that Kabuto would go back to normal. Sasuke went up to the shrine ware the fish was, he looked at the fish for a long time.

"What are you doing Sasuke kill it already!" whispered Ochimaru.

"I don't want to," Sasuke said in a dazed voice.

"What!"

"I love him,"

Shocked Ochimaru went up to the fish bowl with a kunai and was just going to stab the thing with out looking at it.

"Are you going to try and kill me?" This stopped him dead as he realized the fish had talked. "Put the kunai down, you don't want to kill me, you want to be one of my friends. You want to be one of my best friends"

'_The fish is right I do just want to be his friend, why was I trying to kill it in the first place?'_

"You want to take me to a more suitable home this place is a little trashy."

"Yes I do" Ochimaru picked up the fish and was about to leave but he bumped into Sasuke and dropped the fish bowl. The bowl shattered and a peace of glass scurried the fish. The fish disappeared in a poof of blue smoke.

_**Many Miles Away**__**J**_

"Kisame!" yelled Itachi.

"Yea, what?"

"Deidira said that you took another batch of your freak hipno fish to the pet store again, is that true" asked Itachi

"Yea so, I can dominate the world with these fish"

". . . . right well please tone it down you are disrupting missions to deliver freak fish." Itachi then walked away.

". . . . . .I will rule the world and you Itachi shall be my maid."

"What!"

"Nothing!"


End file.
